Get it? Doorma (Drama). Okay, so I know a joke isn't funny if you have to explain it, but I really wanted to make sure that one got through. It's good, no?
So, there are a million other things I should be doing right now, like shopping for lunch as my belly growls, or doing some job research for my phone interview tonight, or just sitting at a cafe celebrating my birth...but I just had to take a few minutes to document what just happened....
How many french men does it take to change a door lock? What I just learned is that it probably takes only one, but you need at least five others to talk it through with, argue with, and then go grab a coffee with after deciding on a plan and putting it off until after your coffee and cigarette. Got it? Good.
Five men were at my door this morning investigating the lock and talking over what to do about fixing it. Now they are talking fast and in french and asking me what I think..."uhhh, oui? C'est bonne?" (please, please, please take that as my approval, fix my door, and go away...)
No such luck. They argue and talk and argue some more, (arguing vs talking is determined by the increase in hand gestures and volume. The main guy got pretty upset at the DDLM administrator when he questioned his decision and plan for the door.) Then the fix-it guy/main guy who has all the tools and appears to know what he's doing, declares that he will fix it this afternoon. The administrator guy asks if I can be here this afternoon while he fixes it. (Again, I'm just standing here...I do not have the ability to give my two centimes and am absolutely worthless. Why do I need to be here?) Fix it guy says he can get in and fix it himself and that I don't have to be here. Admin guy doesn't like that and tells Caesar he has to be here. Caesar doesn't like this plan and tells fix it guy to do it tomorrow. Here's where I jump in holding my door handle, "Pas demain, aujourd'hui s'il vous plait." I'm not super stoked about carrying around my new door handle as my key, it's the only way to get in to the apartment.
So, they talk it over some more. Fix it guy convinces admin guy that it really is not a problem. He can take apart the lock, replace it with new parts, and Voila! it's done. Admin guy keeps asking how he is going to fix it. Fix it guy explains he will remove the lock and replace it with new parts, and Voila! it's done (fix it guy sentence). Admin guy asks for some clarification again (Admin guy question). Repeat fix it guy sentence. Repeat Admin guy question. Repeat fix it guy sentence. (By the way, I'm picking up about 7% of the french in this case but I'm understanding about 89% of what's happening through the hand gestures and motions of each individual. It was great. Oh, and keep in mind that you have Caesar and two other guys just standing and watching this whole episode as well. I felt like I should have offered popcorn or something.) Admin guy comes around and is convinced that fix it guy is going to pull it off and gives the d'accord. Then they head outside to the main building to discuss things further. And as I go to get our computer from the main building, (the confiscated it on Wednesday when they couldn't fix the door. It was a nice gesture in terms of saving it from theft but kind of annoying when we returned home yesterday and it was gone. And we couldn't get it back b/c the security guard who works the main building over the weekend can't get into the admin office. Thus, I went to get it from Simon today and here we are) there are all my fix it friends, drinking their coffee and smoking their cigarettes, in peace. No love lost over the doorma of the handle!
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